


stay here (honey i don't want to share)

by pirateygoodness



Series: if you want i can tell the truth [3]
Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Cunnilingus, F/F, Making Up, Porn with Feelings, Slow Burn, Vaginal Fingering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-16
Updated: 2018-10-15
Packaged: 2019-08-02 13:25:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16305989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pirateygoodness/pseuds/pirateygoodness
Summary: They each broke up with the other once, each for their own dumb in-their-own-heads reasons. And it just feels like it should - Sara doesn't know. Maybe they cancel each other out, somehow. Maybe this could just be easy again, it could just be Sara in love with Ava and Ava looking at Sara with hope and caring in her eyes and maybe they could just fall back towards each other.Maybe.(Or: the story of how Sara and Ava made some plans, and kept them in the aftermath of Season 3)





	1. is it cool that i said all that

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you @falsealarm for all your cheerleading. This fic took FOREVER but I'm so proud to have written it. Story & chapter titles are from Taylor Swift's "Delicate" which is my ultimate Avalance writing song these days.

It sort of makes sense, in a dumb Alanis Morissette kind of way. That the first woman Sara likes ( _loves_ she can admit that to herself at least) properly in years and it falls apart almost before they even get started. 

Not that Sara could ever have predicted the specific circumstances. The getting-possessed-by-a-magical-totem-to-relive-her-darkest-experiences-with-death thing and the Ava's-a-clone-from-the-future thing, those were surprises. 

But now here they are, and Sara's just - if she's being honest, she's just trying not to think about it too much. Pity parties aren't a good look on anyone, and they don't fix anything. But sometimes, Sara can't help but feel a little sorry for herself. It's the times when Sara's alone in her room and the bed seems so big and so empty no matter how much she spreads herself out. Or when she stands for a moment too long in that spot in the hallway, the one where she told Ava she loved her like a big brave idiot and Ava shoved it right back at her. When she opens her underwear drawer and there's a shirt and a pair of underwear there, the wrong size and the wrong colour to be Sara's. 

Sometimes it's hard not to be a little sad. 

The end of the world is, at least, a nice distraction. 

At least until it doesn't end. 

Sara's not dramatic enough to be mad that the world didn't end just because she's got girl problems. She's happy about saving the day, _obviously._ It's just that now that the world hasn't ended, she has to deal with it. Probably. 

Sara's standing in the middle of Salvation, still a little tipsy from the Beebo-knows-how-many shots of whiskey she had earlier in the day when everything seemed desperate. She's sort of trying to catch her breath, taking a minute against the outside wall of the saloon, tucked into a little alley that separates it from the shop next door. There's just enough space between the two buildings for Sara to lean back and rest one foot up against the far wall and breathe. She's getting a little dizzy, the whisky and the fight and the adrenaline rush of victory sort of hitting her all at once and there's a good chance she's going to have a truly vicious hangover soon. 

She hears the crunch of boots beside her, opens her eyes and Ava's there beside her. She's wearing her bureau suit, and when Sara takes a breath the air smells like wood smoke and horses and Ava's shampoo. 

Sara's not sure what to do about that. 

Everything between them is just _off_ , in this palpable way that makes Sara's stomach turn. It's the contrast of it, the gap between the sweetness of how things used to be and whatever they are now, and Sara can feel her heart practically dragging her forward with wanting but - well, that's not how these things work. Sara feels her stomach tighten, a reminder that she's definitely still fucked up over how all of this is incredibly confusing and perfectly simple at the same time. 

They each broke up with the other once, each for their own dumb in-their-own-heads reasons. And it just feels like it should - Sara doesn't know. Maybe they cancel each other out, somehow. Maybe this could just be easy again, it could just be Sara in love with Ava and Ava looking at Sara with hope and caring in her eyes and maybe they could just fall back towards each other. 

Maybe. 

Ava's smiling, still a little breathless from everything but her expression falters when Sara meets her eyes. "You did it," Ava sighs. "I can't believe you did it." 

Exhaustion hits Sara, a wave of it crashing over her and she doesn't know if it's from being heartsick or a side effect of being one sixth of a merged world-saving something or other. It could just be the whiskey catching up with her, but she suddenly feels like she can hardly stand upright. 

"Thanks," Sara manages, her voice whisper-soft and a bit more vulnerable than she means for it to be. 

Ava's watching her. There's something in her eyes, an emotional weight to her expression that feels a lot like the conversation they had this morning in the saloon. It's almost familiar, the way her expression softens around her eyes, the way she's looking at Sara with caring that still makes Sara want to squirm away, just a little. 

She's in love with Ava but that doesn't mean she has to be comfortable with it. 

Ava reaches up, takes Sara's hair between her fingers and sort of trails through her hair and it shouldn't feel this good. It shouldn't affect Sara the way that it does, with little shivers of delight and sensation. Every strand of hair feels like it's suddenly sending little zaps down the back of Sara's neck, straight to the base of her spine. 

She doesn't realize that she's closed her eyes until she's opened them, and Ava's standing there sheepishly with a huge piece of blue fuzz held between her thumb and index finger. "You had, um. A fluff." 

"Right," Sara says. She crosses her arms, leans a little more heavily against the wall. 

There's a commotion from down the alley; the rest of the legends starting to round up the pirates and everyone else to take them back to their normal places in time. Ava takes a breath then, sudden and sharp like she's worried, eyes flicking from Sara to the street and back. "Look, if you need to go, you can -" Sara starts. 

Ava sort of puts her hands out, not quite touching Sara's arms but splaying her fingers wide, the universal gesture for _stop._ "So the thing is, I'm really - I don't know. But I feel like a jerk, and I feel like I've handled this badly, and I'm also kind of messed up, right now." Ava pauses, rolls her eyes upward and gives this self-deprecating laugh that just about breaks Sara's heart. She's waiting for it, the _it's not you, it's me_ that she's sure is coming. "But I miss you. All the time." 

Sara looks up. "You do?" 

Ava looks like she's about to cry. "Of course," she whispers. 

Sara has Ava's hands in her own before she's given herself time to really think about it. Ava just seems like she needs to be reassured, and Sara's heart makes her move instinctively. Ava's fingers are cold, and Sara squeezes them against her palms, trying to share just a little bit of warmth. "I mean," Sara says. "You came through today. You can't be that much of a mess." 

Ava sniffles suddenly, big and wet and Sara can see tears in her eyes, threatening to spill across her cheeks. "Do you think we could talk?" she asks. "After the dust settles on all of this?" 

_Do you think we could talk_ sounds a lot like _get back together_ to Sara's ears. She tries to tell herself not to hope. She doesn't want to feel as much longing as she does, wants to protect herself but her stupid heart is already in her throat and not listening to a thing her head tells it. Sara wants to talk so much that it feels like she can hardly speak. 

She brings her hands down to her sides. Ava's hands are still in hers, and it has the effect of pulling Ava forward, into Sara's personal space. Her hair always looks so good when it's down like this, even if it's a little tangled from the fight. Ava's lips look so soft, and she's got the bottom one caught between her teeth and Sara doesn't mean to kiss her. She doesn't know what she means to do, but she knows that suddenly Ava's ducking down and Sara's looking up and kissing her feels like coming home. It feels like the only natural conclusion, like what they've been orbiting towards since Ava came back to help.

Sara's so far gone. She knows it because the first thing she thinks is that she still loves the taste of Ava's mouth. She knows it from the way she sighs into Ava's kiss. They break the kiss because they're both smiling, and that's a pretty good indicator as well. Ava starts it, a giggle that sounds like relief, and Sara matches it with a grin of her own that shouldn't be as wide or as relieved as it is. 

Sara wants to talk, and then she wants to kiss, and then she wants to relearn Ava's entire body, inch by inch. 

What Sara says, is: "Yeah. I think we should probably talk." 

Ava grins, first at Sara and then down at her shoes. She takes one of her hands back to swipe her tears away. She's not crying, not really, but a couple of tears fell when she closed her eyes into the kiss and that's - Sara's still working out all the things she feels about that. "You're kind of a jerk sometimes," Ava says, and there's so much love in her voice that Sara swears her heart skips a beat. 

"Takes one to know one," Sara replies. 

Ava laughs at her then, properly, and it sounds like a cloud lifting. Some of the tension between them eases, enough that when Sara looks at Ava she feels like they're going to be okay. "So I'll just call you?" Ava asks. 

Sara gets a little surge of confidence at the knowledge of it - that Ava wants to call, that she's _going_ to call, that her lips are just as soft as Sara remembers. "Yeah," Sara drawls. She's flirting a little now, pushing herself off the wall of the saloon to get back into Ava's personal space. "When you've got some time." 

She's just close enough that she can kiss Ava's cheek. She leans in, a little peck, but she hears the way Ava gasps at the feel of her and _goddamn_ does she miss that sound. Ava's arm comes up and lightning quick her hand is around Sara's bicep. "I'll find the time," she says, eyes meeting Sara's full of intent. "You can count on it." 

"I am," Sara replies. 

She allows herself one little moment of daydreaming about how things could be if they weren't here. If instead of an alley in a small town in the Old West, they were in Sara's bedroom or Ava's apartment. If they were someplace where Sara could press Ava against a wall and lick into her mouth, slow and intimate.

But they are. 

And that's alright. 

Sara smiles at Ava, and walks away. If there's more of a spring in her step than there was before, well. That's between Sara and her heart. 

 

+

 

They last less than a day. 

Ava sends Sara a message; a photo of a Bureau form from an angle just deep enough that it's not really readable. Sara can make out the word _pirates_ and _time displacement event_. After the image Ava sends a text: _reminds me of our first date._

Sara laughs out loud at her phone. She's sitting in the kitchen, and she doesn't miss the look that Ray and Wally give each other over the table at her reaction. She knows the team still - what's the word Gary used - _ship it_ , between the two of them. 

Sara gets up. She puts her bowl in the sink, starts to run the water to rinse it out while she messages Ava with her free hand. _Who'd have thought we'd bond so much over time pirates?_ she says, smiling to herself at her own joke. 

Ava takes a long time to reply. Sara walks slowly to her bedroom, tries not to overthink her bad jokes or analyze about what that pause means. When Ava finally sends a message back, it's three words: _I miss you._

Sara looks at her phone for a long while. She's been trying, since Salvation, to keep her feelings under control. She doesn't want to hold out too much hope, in case Ava's still not - Sara looks at the floor, has a sudden awful memory of the look on Ava's face, when Sara pushed her away. _When you ended things_ that voice in the back of her thoughts reminds her. 

She shakes her head, sends the first message that comes to mind, hits the send button before she can think about it too deeply. _I'm free now. If you want to talk._

The call comes up on her screen almost instantly. Ava's calling her on her cell, not through the Waverider. It's a more appropriate use of Bureau resources, and it's also private, and Sara's sure she'll spend at least an hour thinking about what that means, once they're done. 

Ava's voice is in her ear as Sara accepts the call, and _oh_ she's suddenly glad there's no video. All Ava says is, "Hey." 

Her voice is a little shaky but just the sound of it makes Sara break into a grin, one that's wide and relieved. Her heart is suddenly just so full of longing, that palpable sense of missing Ava suddenly present inside her chest once more. 

"Hey," Sara says, trying to keep the delight she's feeling out of her voice. "You didn't have to call, if you're busy." 

"No, no, I wanted to," Ava says. "I um. I like talking to you." 

Sara smiles against her phone, sits down on the bed and sort of leans over, knees curling against her chest. "Me too," she replies. Her voice sounds soft to her ears, _girly_ , like she's back in high school and nursing a crush. 

"So, how are things?"

Sara shrugs in reply. As soon as she does she realizes that Ava can't see her gesture, says, "Not bad. Quiet, now that Mallus isn't trying to murder us." 

Ava chuckles. "Yeah, I guess - I guess it would be." 

"How are things with you?" 

"Busy," Ava says. Sara feels a little twist of guilt in the pit of her stomach. Ava's busy because of the Legends, because of _Sara_ and her team. 

"Sorry." 

"No, it's um. It's good. It's nice to have something to take my mind off of -" Ava stops herself cold. 

That guilt twists a little harder. There are so many things Ava could need taken off of her mind: Rip and his sacrifice, the responsibility of running the Bureau, everything that's happened over the past year. But the one that Sara feels in the pit of her stomach is _her_ , the ways that Ava made Sara hurt. 

This is awkward. 

Sara feels her heart start to beat a little faster with worry, her head suddenly buzzing with difficult, complicated feelings. "Right," Sara says. She tries to keep the hurt out of her voice but it comes through anyway, soft and sullen. 

"No, I didn't - " Ava starts and then sighs, runs a hand through her hair. "This is awkward." 

Sara sighs. "It is." 

"Did you want to, um. Maybe this isn't a good time?" Ava suggests. 

Sara's stomach twists. She wants this so much but it doesn't feel right and everything they say is just a little bit accidentally hurtful and maybe Ava's right. Her heart might be a little too tender to have this conversation right now. "Maybe," Sara replies. 

"I miss you," Ava blurts out. "I know I said that before but I - I wanted you to know that." 

It helps, hearing it in Ava's voice. Sara's chest feels tight, this big bundle of emotion sticking there, but Ava's words help it loosen just a little. "I miss you," she whispers. "If that helps." 

"It does," Ava whispers, and just like that her voice is rough with feeling. Sara wishes, suddenly, that she could see Ava's face. 

"Good," Sara replies. There's silence on the other end of the phone. She hears Ava inhale, her breath a little shaky and it's hard to know what that means but for some reason, it makes her hope. "I can let you get back to work. If you're busy." 

"Yeah," Ava replies. "Maybe." 

Sara hangs up first, her thumb flicking over the button to end the call. She double-checks that the connection has ended before she flops down onto her bed and sighs at the ceiling. 

+

They try again, a few days later. 

Everything between them feels awkward now. Their text messages are a complex push-pull of small talk and sudden admissions of deep emotion, _how's your morning coffee_ alternating with _I saw this and it made me think of us_ and Sara doesn't know how to interpret any of it. 

It just feels difficult, like there's so much to get past but at the same time it should be simple. Sara likes Ava more than she can possibly say and Ava likes Sara so much that she's learning how to take selfies and that should be enough, somehow. 

Sara needs it to be enough. 

The next time it's a video chat, Gideon projecting Ava into the air in front of her bed and Sara trying to pretend that she's not thinking about the last time she stood beside her bed and talked to Ava face to face. 

The call springs to life and Sara suddenly realizes that she'd forgotten how much she likes Ava's face. Ava's got her hair loose around her shoulders, curled gently at the ends and Sara's struck by that, by the curve of her jaw and the shape of her mouth and just - Ava. She's so distracted by it all that she forgets to speak right away. 

Ava's the one who starts the conversation, twists her mouth into a little scowl of awkwardness before she pulls herself out of it and says, "Hey." 

"Hi," Sara manages. She feels, suddenly like she wants to fix her hair. She's wearing a tank top and jeans because that's what she had on but now maybe that's a stupid outfit. Maybe she should change. 

"How are things?" Ava asks. 

"Things?" Sara replies. She honestly can't remember what she had for breakfast, what the team is even doing. All she can think about is how much she misses Ava. "Things are good, yeah." 

There's a long silence. "Maybe I should just -" Ava says, looking down at her shoes 

Sara's heart feels like it's stuck in her throat, the words barely move but she manages to force out the end to Ava's sentence; the one she wants to hear. "Come over?" she asks. 

"Right now?" Ava asks. Her tone of voice is casual, but her expression is anything but. She's asking with her heart in her eyes, Sara knows because she's sure there's matching emotion written on her face. 

"Yeah," Sara says. 

Ava's whole body stills, and for the moment it takes for her to react Sara feels like she can hardly breathe. "Yeah," Ava says. "Yeah, that's probably better." 

She taps the time courier at her wrist and a portal opens moments later; Sara barely gets a glimpse of the inside of Ava's apartment before she's stepping through and into Sara's room. She's pretty. Her hair is silky and shiny under the overhead lights and Sara has a sudden urge to touch it. She shoves her hand into her back pocket, a little too forcefully, to keep from reaching out for her. 

The portal opened up just a few feet away from Sara's position, and now Ava's standing right where her image was when they were on video chat. She's here, in Sara's room. She's standing right beside Sara's bed, with the messy sheets and yesterday's clothes draped on top of it. She's right in front of Sara, who just wants to take Ava in her arms and kiss her until neither of them can breathe, until breaking up feels like a bad dream and they can skip past all of this awkwardness. 

"Hey," Sara says. She lifts her free arm up, automatically moving to pull Ava into a hug before she catches herself and set it down. The effect is an awkward sort of flapping motion; she tries to hide it with a shrug. That hand goes into her other back pocket as well because clearly, her arms can't be trusted. 

"Hey," Ava replies. She leans forward, looking down at her shoes, then Sara's shoes, then back to her own. 

"So we should talk, right?" 

"Yeah," Ava says. "Yeah, probably we should - do that." 

She looks up at Sara. Sara suddenly feels this wave of it, of liking Ava more than she can possibly explain. It gets her in her chest and again a little lower, a feeling halfway between anxiety and desire tightening in her lower belly. She almost doesn't trust herself to speak. There are words in her throat but they feel like they're not the right ones. Sara's just so - she feels earnest when she's around Ava. She wants to pour all of her feelings into words, wants to say them out loud in a way that she hasn't in years and it feels dangerous and exactly right all at the same time. 

She doesn't say anything at all. 

Instead Sara waits, hands in her pockets, and looks at Ava. She waits until Ava breaks, her gaze dipping down to her shoes again. "Did you, um." Ava says. "Did you want to go first, or -?" 

Sara shakes her head. "No, you can -" she says. 

Ava takes a breath and suddenly she looks like she wants to cry again. Sara feels all the emotions stuck in her chest sort of twist, everything suddenly the wrong sort of ache. This isn't what she wants. She doesn't want Ava to feel upset; making her feel guilty is the last thing she's trying to do but Ava's sort of setting her jaw like that's what's going on. "We, uh. We don't have to talk," Sara says. "If you don't want to." 

Ava's expression twists, she winces. "Why am I here, then?" 

That's the question. If Sara's really honest with herself, she doesn't want to talk at all. She knows what Ava's going to say. She knows what happened and it's too eager and too trusting of Sara but she forgives Ava for it all the same. She doesn't want to go over it all again. She doesn't want to hear Ava's apologies when instead Sara could be holding her and kissing her and breathing in the smell of her skin. 

Sara takes one hand out of her pocket. She reaches out, extends it into the space between them and Ava looks down, eyes unreadable. Sara watches as Ava's lower lip catches between her teeth and she swings her own arm forward, lets her fingertips touch Sara's. It's hardly any contact at all but it feels important in a way that Sara can't quite name. 

Slowly, Sara spreads her fingers apart and Ava's fall into place between them. Sara can feel every inch of it; the slow slide of Ava's skin against her fingertips is electric. It's so much more absorbing than it should be. Every part of Sara feels like it can't stop noticing this: the way that Ava's touching her and the fact that Ava's meeting her halfway. The calluses on Ava's palm meeting the soft spots of Sara's, just different enough but almost matching. Sara missed everything about this. Sara missed Ava's hands more than she can possibly say, and now it's her turn to feel like crying. 

Sara takes a breath. "So what if we didn't talk?" she asks. 

Ava looks up. Her eyes meet Sara's and there's such desire there. For the first time in weeks Ava's just looking at Sara like she wants her and Sara didn't realize how much she'd needed exactly that. Her emotions are tight in her chest, squeezing like a band around her ribs as she waits for Ava to reply. "I really, really don't want to talk," Ava says. 

They both pull each other forward then, their joined hands carrying Ava into Sara's arms. Sara's on her tiptoes, one leg wrapped around the back of Ava's thigh and they're kissing. They're _finally_ kissing again, properly, and it feels like coming home. Sara kisses Ava like it's going to be their last; hard and slow and deep. She just needs Ava to know how she's feeling, all of the things that she tried to put into words that didn't land before. 

Ava kisses back in kind, lets Sara lick into her and her free hand is already behind Sara's head, pulling her close. She's using pressure, fingertips digging in and urging Sara close like it's important, like she needs Sara to be right where she is, kissing Ava as deeply as she can manage. 

Sara can do this. She can pour her heart into her mouth, show Ava every bit of how she feels and if this is all they get together, she'll figure out how to live with that. She can hold Ava close, arms and leg wrapped around her and swallow every one of Ava's sighs. 

Sara pulls away first because she's breathless. Her heart's been beating faster and faster with every kiss and Ava's mouth feels like it's making it worse, too much even though it's all Sara wants right now. She needs to break apart so that she can breathe and she takes the opportunity to look Ava in the eyes for a moment. 

Ava's always been beautiful from this angle, and especially so now: with her mouth kissed pink and a little more full, her eyes darker from desire. Sara feels a little thrill of satisfaction at the sight of her. It's nice to know that she can still make Ava feel like that, even after everything. 

Sara can't help it - she reaches up to cradle Ava's face in her hand, brushing her thumb across Ava's cheek. She wants to tell Ava a thousand things: how beautiful she is, how much Sara loves her, how much she wants this to work between them, all of her feelings threatening to spill out. She opens her mouth to speak, but Ava beats her to it.

"I'm sorry," Ava whispers into the space between their mouths. 

Sara feels herself smile in response - too wide, too excited at her apology, giving away her hand already. She shoves at Ava's shoulder, tries to scowl. "Jerk, you beat me to it," Sara says, her voice soft. "I wanted to apologize first." 

"Yeah, well," Ava says. "Takes one to know one." 

Now Sara laughs. 

Ava kisses her again. It's tender and sweet this time, the desperation of their earlier kissing falling away. Sara's struck with another wave of emotion, the reality of how much she's been wanting this suddenly hitting her and before she really knows what's happening she can feel tears welling up behind her eyes. 

Sara blinks as they part, feels one warm tear slip down her cheek. Ava's eyes are similarly watery, and that helps a little. "I'm sorry, too," Sara whispers. 

"I know," Ava mumbles. Her voice is shaky and more than a little vulnerable. Sara responds to it by wrapping her arms around Ava's back, holding her as close as she can. 

It takes a while before the intensity of the moment starts to ease off. They stand together while it passes, Sara holding Ava and Ava holding her back, her arms tight and sure around Sara's shoulders. 

When she feels like she can breathe again, Sara looks up. Ava's watching her, bright-eyed. "Can I kiss you again?" Ava asks. 

"Yeah," Sara whispers. "Yeah I'd like that a lot." 

It takes a lot of kissing before they're ready to talk. They kiss until Sara's lips are a little numb and she can feel the slow burn of desire beginning to build low in her belly. They kiss until Ava's sighing against her mouth and clutching at the front of Sara's shirt and whispering Sara's name against her mouth. 

When they break apart again, Ava's cheeks are red and Sara's breathless in the best sort of way, the kind that comes with desire and not with feeling choked by the weight of her emotions.

Ava's hands are resting on Sara's chest. She's fiddling with the neckband of Sara's tank top, twisting the fabric between her thumb and forefingers. After a few moments she looks up at Sara. "So," she says. "Do you want to go out sometime?" 

Sara breaks into a smile. "I don't know," she whispers. She's trying to keep her voice light, but her heart is still in her throat. She wants to go out with Ava so badly that she can feel it in every part of herself. "Have I earned my way back into your good books?" 

Ava shakes her head. She chuckles gently, ducking her head down before she looks back up at Sara. "Stop it, you're not the one who has to earn this back." 

Sara's heart twists. She still feels like she does, like she's in the wrong and Ava doesn't have a single thing to prove and here's Ava feeling the same about her. "Maybe we can earn this back together." 

Ava smiles. "I'd like that," she says. She's looking at Sara a little shyly, her expression sweet and caring and Sara feels, for a moment, like they're back to where they used to be. This is the Ava that Sara remembers falling for. Sara remembers this particular expression, the way Ava gets all shy and fluttery when Sara manages the right sort of smile. It makes her confident. "So," Sara replies. "Do you want to go out with me?" 

Ava rolls her eyes a little. "Yes, of course." 

"Good," Sara says. "I'm looking forward to winning you back." 

Ava bites her lip and laughs and it's light this time, the kind that's reserved for being flirted with. "Well, I'm going to be pretty easy to win." 

Sara feels her heart sort of flutter. This is all she wants, one more shot at having this with Ava and right now it feels like she might actually get it. And on top of all that Ava's here in her arms, smelling good. Her body is soft and Sara forgot about that, how nice Ava feels to just hold. 

Slowly, this is starting to feel a little easier. That ache inside her chest blooms into something good. 

"That sounds perfect," Sara says. "I don't like to work too hard." 

Ava laughs, a real laugh that makes her rest her head against Sara's shoulder. It sounds like everything Sara's ever wanted. 

Ava stays.

They kiss a little longer, and then Ava sits on Sara's bed and re-adjusts the buttons of her shirt. Sara sits beside her, and they talk. About everything - what Ava's been doing over the past few weeks, the way she redecorated her apartment, the lettuce wraps at the place around the corner from the Time Bureau, even Gary. Sara talks about her team, about how they've been recovering and the way Nate's been moping around the halls over Amaya and trying to pretend he's fine about it. Wally and how she's a little worried about him, how she hopes he'll stay. 

They talk about real stuff, after that. Once it's late, and they're both a little tired and a lot hungry and the rest of the ship is asleep. Sara gets Gideon to make them pizza and they sit on Sara's floor, cross-legged, and eat. Ava talks about figuring out herself, researching Rip's old files on the AVA program and understanding where she began. All the stuff that Sara never really - she cared about it, cared because it was important to Ava and because it took Ava's confidence away, but it was never something that bothered her, really.

Sara talks - really talks, even though it's agony to mention any of it - about the death totem and pushing Ava away and how much she wishes she could take it all back. 

Ava stays all night. When the clock on Sara's nightstand says that it's five in the morning, she curls up on top of Sara's bed to nap for an hour or so. Sara tries to take the floor, to give Ava her space but Ava rolls her eyes and pats the space in front of her. 

Sara hasn't liked having someone against her back since Nyssa. 

With Ava, it feels alright. 

Sara doesn't sleep. She rests on the bed, her eyes closed but her mind active and incredibly aware of the arm that Ava's got across her waist and Ava's body against her back. They're both fully clothed, Ava still in her suit pants and dress shirt and Sara in her jeans and tank top but they haven't been this close to each other in weeks. 

Sara's missed it. She's missed _her._

Ava stirs in her sleep, inhales and then exhales in a soft hum and tightens her grip around Sara's waist. Her whole body moves forward, pressing closer against Sara's and the intimacy of it makes something in Sara's chest tighten. She wants this more than she can fully articulate, wants Ava to be in her bed snuggling drowsily into her shoulder every single night until she dies and she feels it with a certainty that almost frightens her. 

Sara's not used to wanting things this badly and actually getting them. 

Slowly, Sara brings her hand up to Ava's resting against her stomach. She touches her, drags her fingertips along the back of Ava's hand. Her fingers trace a heart, slowly and deliberately, across the peaks and valleys of her metacarpals. It's not a secret - she's already said it to Ava's face, more than once - but it still feels that way to Sara. 

Ava squeezes her waist again, nuzzling her forehead against Sara's shoulder. 

There's a chance that, for a few minutes, Sara falls asleep. There's a short gap in her memory between holding Ava's hand and the alarm going off, just enough to account for a ten minute nap. Ava's mouth is pressed against the back of her shoulder and it's warm and a little damp, like maybe Ava - not that Sara would ever say anything, but there's a chance she may have drooled a little, in her sleep. 

Ava groans at the sound of the alarm. 

Sara turns over, rolling so that they're face to face. Ava's arm is still around her waist, holding her close, and their knees bump together a little awkwardly as she repositions herself. "Sleeping was a mistake," Ava mumbles. 

Ava looks so soft like this; hair falling around her shoulders tousled from the pillow and her shirt coming half-untucked. She's squinting at Sara, eyes barely open, the light from above Sara's bed suddenly too bright. Sara thinks this side of Ava is one of the things she likes best. The honesty of her, she way she'll let herself take a break from being Ava Sharpe: Professional. It makes lightness bubble up inside Sara's chest, makes her want to laugh even though she's exhausted. She chuckles. "Kept you up all night, huh?" 

Ava rolls her eyes, squeezes Sara's ribs gently in reply. "Yeah, not for the first time." 

Sara goes quiet. They haven't talked about sex, not yet. They've only talked about things and feelings, all the stuff that comes before having another marathon date night. She hasn't dared to let herself think about that. But here Ava is making a joke, and maybe that means something, and Sara's in the mood to push her luck. "Hopefully not the last time," she says. 

Ava's eyes fly open, and Sara watches as her cheeks go red. "I, um. Definitely," she replies. 

Ava shifts, like she's suddenly aware of how close their bodies are. Sara feels a surge of relief. This is familiar territory. She knows what to do with this. Her hands are already pressed in between her body and Ava's and she brings them up to Ava's chest, fiddles with her top button. "When?" Sara asks. 

Ava's hand slides from Sara's waist to the back of her neck and she pulls Sara into a sudden, searing kiss, the kind that makes Sara's whole body wakeful and attentive. "Soon," Ava whispers into the space between their mouths. "Once we go on that date." 

Sara can feel herself smile before she's aware of it. She slides Ava's button down and through it's buttonhole, opening Ava's shirt just enough that Sara can drag her nails across her sternum. "So, Director Sharpe," she says. "When are you free to go out with me?"

Ava closes her eyes, winces. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I have to go in to work and check my calendar." 

Sara laughs. "Well if it helps, you should know that I've got a time ship. So I'm easy to fit in." 

Ava rolls away from Sara blushing, reaching for her suit jacket. It feels like a victory. It almost feels like things used to feel and Sara's so light with it that she's pretty sure she's going to float down to the kitchen for her morning coffee. 

Sara sits up, watching from bed as Ava shrugs into her suit, smoothes the wrinkles out of her trousers and shirt as best she can. She walks into Sara's personal space, knees bumping against the bed in front of Sara. Her top button is still undone. Sara reaches up to fasten it for her, straightening Ava's collar with more eye contact than is really necessary. Ava bites her lip and makes a noise in the back of her throat, a hum filled with longing. "Please text me," she says. "About that date." 

Sara tilts her head up and Ava takes the hint, leans down to kiss her once, as chastely as she can manage. "I wouldn't miss it," Sara says. 

Ava's face breaks into a smile, the big bright kind that Sara's missed so much over these past few weeks. She taps at her wrist, opens a portal behind herself. "Have a good day, Captain Lance," Ava says. 

Sara nods in reply. Ava steps through the portal and it closes with a now-familiar hiss. Sara laughs into the empty room. She hasn't slept since yesterday, but the world seems like a bright, wonderful place. 

It feels like they're going to be okay.


	2. is it too soon to do this yet

The next day, the Waverider goes to Aruba. 

They've been talking about it for ages - well, Mick and Ray and Nate have been campaigning for it, Sara's been deliberating. It's not that patching things up with Ava makes her suddenly in the mood for a vacation. The whole team has more than earned the break regardless of what's going on with Sara's relationship. But the idea of relaxing does feel more like it's within Sara's reach with the memory of Ava's kisses on her mouth. 

The team goes to Aruba, and Sara and Ava have _plans._ They're going to go on a date, a real one. Sara's going to wear jeans and Ava's going to wear a shirt and trousers because they don't need to be anyone other than who they are with each other and Sara can't stop daydreaming about it. 

(She makes plans in her head, more than enough for four or five dates. Taking Ava to the little coffee shop that Sin runs in the Glades, showing her Sin's truly epic three-cheese scones. Dinner, a real one, at the little sushi place all the vigilantes love because it's open until two in the morning. Letting Ava take her to the farmer's market and maybe holding her hand. Brushing up her cooking skills and making Ava dinner. Going back to Ava's place and showing her, over and over again, just how special she really is.) 

She thinks about Ava while she's lying on the beach; lets herself have a little too much rum and tries to imagine what kind of swimsuit Ava would wear. She thinks about Ava lying on the chair next to her, or maybe sharing a lounge chair with her, the two of them lazy and sun-warmed and whispering together. She thinks about Ava wrapping up in a sweater over her swimsuit when the beach gets cold at night, the sight of her all cozy and protected against the cold while she's still bare-legged and how _good_ she'd look like that. 

She thinks about the fact that she'll see Ava in a week or two, and that's fine. Her team's happy enjoying the sun and day-drinking and basking in the fact that they finally saved the world, for real this time. 

Sara can wait. 

(She can wait, even if her right hand is getting a bit of a workout daydreaming about the feeling of kissing Ava. Even if her body suddenly remembers what it's like to be in love and wants Ava to be in her arms, all the time)

(She's fine.) 

They have a date set, and it's a week in Aruba and then four days and then her date with Ava and Sara's not counting down or anything, she's just very aware of her future schedule. She's the captain of a very important time ship. It's perfectly reasonable to be organized. 

Their second day in Aruba, Ava starts to text. They used to talk all the time this way, back when they were dating, and but they haven't done as much of it since then and Sara's not about to tell Ava that she's missed it, but it's nice. 

Ava sends silly stuff at first - jokes about work, a selfie taken after a long day with her hair up in a messy ponytail that Sara saves to her own phone immediately. Sara sends back a photo of Mick in his beach outfit and flip flops, tells her all about the saga of Nate and Ray's argument over which cocktail is ideal for drinking on the beach. 

That night, Sara's standing with her feet in the water. The team are gathered together on the beach, sharing stories and drinks around a campfire. Sara's letting herself enjoy the feel of the waves on her skin, trying to remember the last time she was able to just be still and watch the sun set. The sky is beautiful, all reds and golds, purple around the edges of the clouds. 

She doesn't know why it makes her think of Ava. 

A pang of longing hits her, takes her breath away. She takes out her phone, snaps a photo of the horizon, and sends it. 

Ava responds almost immediately. _Beautiful_ , she writes. Then, _I wish I was there, instead._

The ache in Sara's chest eases. She's smiling down at her phone, and ordinarily she'd feel self-conscious about it but here on the beach there's nobody around to notice. _You're just saying that because you haven't heard Ray try to lead everyone in a campfire sing-along._

_Is it weird that I already miss you?_ Ava replies. Sara stares at her message, the sunset forgotten. It's been three days.

Three days since they saw each other, since Ava had her arms around Sara and Sara had her mouth against Ava's throat and it suddenly feels like far too long. It's not weird at all, not when Sara misses Ava with an almost physical intensity. She sends a message back: _Come over, then._

Ava doesn't respond right away. Sara looks at her phone for a little while, then gives up and tucks it back in her shirt pocket. She's tired anyway; bed is probably a better idea. 

She turns away from the water, walks back up the beach and toward the house Mick somehow managed to rent for them. 

The house itself is huge, right on the water and big enough for everyone to have a room to themselves - plus four whole bathrooms. Sara's room has its own ensuite, which feels unspeakably decadent. She taps her keycard against the front door, kicks her sandals off by the entryway and brushes the sand off of her feet. 

She's just made it to her room, tucked one leg underneath her and sat down on the bed, when her phone buzzes with Ava's reply. _Give me five minutes_. 

It's not even three minutes before a portal opens in her room. Ava steps through, overdressed in her suit and trousers. Sara recognizes her office at the Bureau, empty and dark - she must have been working late. 

Something about the way Ava carries herself softens, as she steps into Sara's space. Her shoulders slouch forward the barest amount, the set of her mouth curves into a gentle, easy smile, and she slides one hand into the pocket of her trousers. She looks comfortable, and the thought of that makes Sara feel a little hopeful. She wants Ava to be able to relax around her. 

"Hey," Sara says. She stands up and she can already feel herself smiling, all the delight and warmth she's been directing at her phone now plain across her face. 

"Hey," Ava says. She looks at Sara, up and down, and her cheeks go a little red. She coughs, recovers. "You, um. You look nice." 

Sara looks down at herself and remembers that she's just been at the beach, and she's dressed accordingly. She's wearing her swimsuit, two pieces with an oversized shirt as a cover-up. Her shirt is printed with flamingos wearing sunglasses, the shirt-tails tied into a knot that sits around her middle. It's - she looks _good_. But in front of Ava it feels, suddenly, like it might not be the right thing. Emotion floods into her chest; she gets a sudden urge to cover up. 

Ava's blush is spreading, creeping from her cheeks to the rest of her face as she forces her gaze upward to meet Sara's eyes. "You alright?" Sara asks. 

Ava laughs, starts to duck her head down before thinking better of it and making a point of looking up at the ceiling, instead. "Yeah, I just, uh. Wasn't expecting that outfit." 

Sara laughs. She stands up, takes a few steps until she's inside Ava's personal space. "I am at the beach." 

Ava's chuckle this time is half of a sigh. She looks down, and this time her eyes catch the pattern of Sara's shirt, instead of her body underneath it. She plucks at Sara's collar, says, "I like this." 

"Thanks," Sara says. 

This moment feels like the one that happens before they start to have sex. Ava's just looking at her with something in her expression that's a little softer, more full of desire than Sara's seen in a while. 

Ava's hands move to her pockets, slipping inside. She stands there, looking at Sara, eyes roaming across Sara's face, reading her. "I missed you," Ava whispers. 

The words curl around Sara's heart. It's important, that Ava missed her. It feels like a revelation, that they're back to a place where Ava can say it easily. "I missed you, too," Sara replies. 

Ava smiles halfway, this little lopsided grin on her face and then she licks her lips and Sara feels the gesture between her legs. Suddenly, she finds herself thinking about Ava's tongue and how good it is, how she hasn't used it on Sara's clit in _weeks_. Sara's serious about this - about them - and she wants to take things as slow as Ava needs but she can't quite manage to keep her body from wanting to take things _fast._ "I know we made plans," Ava says. "But I don't know if I want to wait for our date." 

Ava's lips are parted just a little bit as she waits for Sara's reply and it's suddenly an effort for Sara to keep from plunging forward and licking her way right into Ava's mouth. "You don't know if you want to wait for our date to what?" Sara asks. 

She's already inside Ava's space but she leans forward a little, letting her body make contact with Ava's. Her swimsuit suddenly feels like it's hardly made of anything. Sara's legs are free to feel the gentle scratch of Ava's suit pants against her skin. The lapels of Ava's jacket are sort of resting against Sara's shoulders, and Sara's shirt is thin enough that she can the pressure of the fabric against herself. "To, um -" Ava starts to say before she stops, the words stalled in her throat. 

"To have sex?" Sara drawls. 

Ava slips one hand out of her pocket and brings it up to Sara's cheek. She slides it across the skin there, the backs of her fingers stroking Sara across her cheekbone and down to her jaw. Her touch is soft, her skin warm and the touch is barely sexual but Sara feels it like electricity. Little sparks of sensation ripple outward, slowly settling between Sara's legs. She's already wet, she can tell. "That," Ava says. "I don't think I want to wait to have sex with you again." 

Sara slides her hands in between Ava's suit jacket and her shirt. The gesture feels weirdly intimate, the idea of her hands underneath a layer of Ava's - even though she's still wearing a button-down and an undershirt below that - somehow feels like she's crossing into new territory. She watches Ava's face closely as she moves in, presses both palms to Ava's back through her shirt and pulls her nearer. They still fit together so well. Ava's knee bends just a little, bringing her thigh up against the gusset of Sara's swimsuit in a way that's absolutely a suggestion. It takes all of Sara's self-control not to grind down against it. "Me, neither," Sara says. 

Ava's mouth is almost even with Sara's. They're nearly kissing, close enough that Sara can almost feel Ava on her lips already, her desire creating a phantom sensation. Ava turns her head, brings her mouth to Sara's ear and whispers, "I love you, so much." 

Sara knows. She always knew, in her own way, but somehow to hear Ava say it is overwhelming. It's the best possible version of it; overwhelming because Sara's feeling all the best emotions she knows how to feel. It also makes this _real_ in a way that's a little bit frightening. Sara can feel the cold tendrils of anxiety creep into her belly, dampening her arousal a little. 

Ava saying it out loud turns this into something serious. They're less of a nebulous, maybe-dating-sort-of-feelings-thing and closer to something real and big and important and Sara wants that, more than anything. 

She's just not used to having quite this much to lose. 

"I know," Sara whispers. Her voice is shaking just a little, and Ava responds by dragging her thumb across Sara's cheek, reassuring. "I love you, too." 

"Can we just be - whatever we were before? Can we go back there?" Ava asks. She leans back to look at Sara, making sure that there's enough distance between them for eye contact. Ava's eyes are shining with emotion and she's got her lip caught between her teeth but it's earnestness, not lust, driving that expression. 

"You want to be my girlfriend?" Sara asks. She's grinning. She feels like she can't not. Her new resting facial expression is a dumb smile and it's probably going to be that forever, because her Ava loves her back and that's the best thing she's ever heard. It makes her words come out sing-song, a little teasing. 

"That depends. Do you want to be mine?" Ava asks. 

Ava says the word _mine_ and it feels like coming home. Something clicks into place, like it's - of course Sara's hers. She doesn't think there was ever a time when she really wasn't. The idea of it sends a warm, soft little thrill through her. Sara knows what she means - _mine_ as in _my girlfriend_ \- but it makes her think of that singer Ray likes, what's her name. Taylor Swift. It makes her feel like that. The word makes her wobble with the weight of her own tender-heartedness. "Yeah," she whispers. 

Ava's expression lights up, her smile matching Sara's own. "Can I please kiss you?" she asks. 

Sara nods. "Yeah." 

Their mouths are so close already that kissing hardly feels like an effort. It just feels like melting into it, Sara pulling Ava back towards her and Ava easing into the embrace. The two of them relax into a kiss that feels as natural as breathing. Ava's mouth is soft against hers and Sara lets herself just absorb that, the softness of Ava's mouth and the fact of why they're kissing, that they're here kissing because Ava's her _girlfriend_ and that's all she's wanted for weeks. It feels gentle and unhurried, a kiss that doesn't have any urgency to it because they're going to have more chances to kiss, later.

Sara thinks about all those future kisses and sighs, holds Ava just a little tighter. She's missed this so much. It's only been two days since she last got to kiss Ava but it feels like longer than that. It feels like she's been waiting for this for ages. 

(And maybe, if Sara's honest with herself, she just wants to kiss Ava every single day. In the deepest, most secret parts of her heart, she wants this to be something so commonplace that she can almost take it for granted.) 

Ava pulls back, and Sara leans out a little to match her. Ava's looking at Sara with a little bit of wonder in her eyes, expression tender and a bit misty. "Hey," she whispers. 

"Hey, yourself," Sara replies. 

Sara's not sure what Ava's looking for, but she must find it because she breaks into a smile again and nips at Sara's lower lip. "Just checking," she says. 

Sara frowns. "Just checking what?" 

"That you're still into this," Ava says in return and something inside Sara's heart goes soft and wobbly again. 

Sara smiles, and she's sure it's big and goofy and full of all the things she's feeling but she kind of doesn't care anymore. Now that Ava knows everything about how she feels, it doesn't seem so weird to show it. She moves one hand up to the back of Ava's head and tugs her back down, into a kiss that's a little deeper and a lot less chaste. Sara lets her lips part and Ava surges toward her in reply, tongue slipping against Sara's and suddenly the whole tone of things shifts. 

When Ava sighs into her mouth it's not contented or lazy. It's a sigh with urgency and desire behind it, matched by the way that Ava's suddenly arching against Sara. One of Ava's arms snakes around Sara's waist and she pulls, holding her close despite the fact that they're already pressed together as tightly as they'll go. 

All those soft, tender flutters in Sara's ribcage start to settle lower, back into desire. She can feel it pooling between her legs, a subtle throb in her lower belly and an ache behind her ribs. She wants to have _sex._ She wants to have sex and she wants to pour every one of her feelings into it, wants to make Ava scream and clutch at her headboard until she understands just how much Sara loves her. 

Sara slides her free hand back underneath Ava's jacket, slips both of them up to the fronts of her shoulders and then down her arms. Ava chuckles into Sara's mouth as she realizes what she's doing, but she lets her arms go slack and allows Sara to run her hands along Ava's arms and take Ava's suit jacket with them. 

It seems only fair. Sara's still in her bathing suit and here Ava is, dressed in _layers_ when all Sara wants to do is touch her. 

Ava grins, wriggles her wrists out of the sleeves and leaves her suit jacket sitting in a puddle on the floor. She doesn't break away to hang it up. She just wraps her arms back around Sara's waist and that's a clear sign that she's pretty far gone, herself. 

They keep kissing. Ava's mouth is hard and a little rough against Sara's own and it's delicious, every kiss sending little sparks of desire down to Sara's belly, all of it settling between her legs. Ava's hands slide down Sara's back, past her waist to her butt and Sara feels her inhale softly against her mouth, like she's remembering all over again that Sara's not wearing pants. Ava's hands squeeze and she pulls Sara close. It has the effect of angling Sara's body up, rubbing her against Ava's thigh and a sudden thrill of sweet, shivery desire flares in Sara's cunt as she hits Ava's thigh just right. This time she lets her hips respond, rocks down hard against Ava's thigh until she can't help but groan into her mouth. 

She feels Ava's laugh before she hears it; a warm chuckle against Sara's lips and it is, perhaps, completely justified but it also pings at Sara's competitive streak just a little. 

Sara bites against Ava's lip, just hard enough to pinch, and starts at Ava's buttons. Her hands are sure and she doesn't linger; she wants Ava as close to her as possible. She just feels so eager for this and she wants so much to show it to Ava; as if that can communicate just how much Sara's missed her. 

Ava's shirt ends up on the floor with her jacket, and then she's dressed in her bureau trousers and a thin white t-shirt, one of the ones she wears under her work shirts to keep them looking nice. It's one of her little quirks, something Sara's always going to associate with Ava and nobody else. She pulls at the hem of Ava's shirt, tugging it untucked enough that there's space for Sara's hands. She slides her palms across Ava's belly and it's so soft and nice that Sara has to close her eyes against the feeling. Ava's skin is warm, and wherever Sara touches she leaves goosebumps, physical proof that Ava missed being touched. 

Ava groans into Sara's mouth as Sara drags her nails across Ava's skin, re-learning the soft-hard feel of it. She runs her fingertips across the lower band of Ava's bra and feels muscle jump, hears Ava sigh at the touch. Sara moves higher, drags her hands across the front of Ava's chest. She can already feel Ava's nipples against her palms, the points firm through the fabric of her extremely sensible t-shirt bra. "You feel so good," Sara mumbles against Ava's mouth. 

"Missed you," Ava whispers. "So much." 

"Missed _you_ ," Sara replies. "Gonna show you." 

Ava whimpers to the affirmative. Ava's hands leave Sara's waist just long enough for Ava to pull her own t-shirt over her head and unclasp her bra. Sara takes the opportunity to work at Ava's trousers, unbuckling her belt and working her button and zipper down. 

Bed. They need a bed. 

Sara's only slept in this room two nights and she's not completely familiar with it yet; she needs to look over Ava's shoulder to figure out how close they are to the bed. She only has to walk Ava a few steps backward before they're there, right at the edge. Sara shoves Ava's shoulders and Ava lets herself be pushed, bounces onto her back on the bed with a grin that tells Sara she's figured out her plans. 

Ava props herself up on her elbows, looking up while she watches Sara come to her. Sara who's still barefoot in her swimsuit and her goofy flamingo shirt and it's hardly fancy dress but she still tries to make a show of it. She undoes the knot at the bottom of her shirt as slowly as she can, letting the shirttails hang free. Ava licks her lips, makes a point of looking Sara's whole body up and down before she meets Sara's eyes in a challenge. "You were going to show me?" Ava asks. 

Sara climbs onto the bed, on top of Ava. She slides both hands up Ava's belly, palming her breasts on the way down to kissing her. She's got her thigh fitted in between Ava's legs, and from her position on top she can angle it up against Ava's center. She rocks herself forward, is rewarded with Ava shivering underneath her and grinding down against her knee. Her desire is suddenly so obvious. 

Sara's missed it so much. 

She's missed Ava full of desire, missed seeing Ava spread out underneath her like this. Her mouth is practically watering; she can't wait to go down on Ava and feel her come, big and loud and wet against her face. 

She kisses Ava, long and slow and deep, her tongue slipping against the roof of Ava's mouth. She somehow tastes even better when Sara's on top of her. Ava's arms sort of clutch at her back, and for a little while her movements are artless. But after a few moments she gets her bearing, and there's a rush of cold air against Sara's back as she slips Sara's shirt off of her shoulders. 

Sara grins into Ava's mouth, releases Ava's breasts and mouth just long enough to allow herself to be undressed. She looks down at Ava, takes in the sight of her hair starting to fall out of her bun and fan around her shoulders. Ava's eyes are dark and her mouth is swollen from kissing and she's looking at Sara like she's the most important thing. Months ago, the intensity of her gaze would have made Sara shy away. 

Tonight, it feels like exactly the intensity Sara wants; a perfect mirror to the way that she wants Ava. "You're beautiful," Ava whispers, running her hands along Sara's back. She's lingering at the back of her swimsuit top, fingertips looking for a clasp. "I miss your breasts." 

It's such an Ava sort of thing, the word _breasts_ instead of something less anatomical, and Sara probably shouldn't find it as charming as she does. "You want them?" Sara asks. 

Ava nods. 

Sara shifts, moves so that she's straddling Ava's waist and leans down, lowers her chest against Ava's face. Ava chuckles against Sara's sternum, presses soft kisses across the middle of her chest, then the tops of her breasts. She's finally figured out Sara's top; she slides her hands underneath the band and just lifts it up, lets Sara's tits spill out and press against her face. 

Her head turns, and she takes one of Sara's nipples into her mouth and _fuck_ , her tongue is the very best thing. It's unbelievable, the swirl of Ava's tongue around her nipple, the soft pressure of suction and the gentle scrape of her teeth and Sara can't believe she forgot about how much she liked this. Sara's cunt flexes in response to the contact and suddenly everything between her legs feels slick. She sighs out something, half-coherent and pleased, and Ava smiles against her skin. 

Sara allows herself a few more minutes of pleasure, lets Ava work at her other breast until Sara's arousal is a slow, slippery throb. This feels good, even better than Sara remembered, but she doesn't want it yet. She wants to make Ava come first. She's trying to be in control, to treat Ava the way she deserves and here she is soaking herself just because Ava's kissing her tits. She takes a breath and pulls away. 

Her swimsuit top is already pushed up so far that it would be silly not to just take it off, and Ava watches with her lower lip caught between her teeth as Sara undresses above her. That's more like it. 

Sara slides her palm down Ava's chest, from her clavicle to her sternum, places it in between Ava's breasts. She can feel Ava's heartbeat, hammering fast, and the feel of it makes her smile. This is real, this is her Ava underneath her smiling up at her patient and loving and so, so eager. 

Sara shuffles back down the bed a little, and leans down to use her mouth on Ava's breasts. They're just - they're amazing, beautiful and full and they _deserve_ to be in Sara's mouth, that's the only way to describe it. She works her way across the underside of Ava's left side, moves up to the top of her breast where she likes being kissed the most. "You're so pretty," Sara whispers. 

Ava opens her mouth, starts to say something in reply but Sara kisses it away. She presses her mouth to Ava's chest and kisses and suckles until Ava's groaning above her and there's a deep purple bruise blooming under Sara's tongue. "Gonna mark you up," Sara murmurs. "So everyone knows you're mine." 

Ava shudders underneath her, hips rocking of their own accord and Sara's sure Ava's slick for her now, from the way she's moving. "Yes," Ava whispers.

Sara keeps going. She doesn't really have a plan to what she's saying but the words keep coming out. "Love the feel of you. Only you," Sara says, her voice low enough that it's almost a growl. "You're so real, so perfect." 

Ava whimpers, rocks her hips again and when she speaks this time her voice is a high whine that's barely coherent. "Yours," Ava says as Sara leaves a fourth mark, a fifth. "Say I'm yours." 

The sound of it is so hot that Sara almost bites Ava's nipple; she's caught off guard by the request and by how much it makes her body respond in kind. She kisses her way across Ava's chest to the top of her abdomen in between her breasts, leaves a long slow kiss there that turns into a deep red welt. "Mine," Sara says. "All mine." 

There's some stuff to unpack there, maybe. About Ava and the fact that she's still struggling with the fact of being a clone but this isn't the time. This Ava is real, she's the only one Sara wants down to the wonky knee and the scar across her knuckles and the little mole on her hip. 

Sara marks Ava up as tenderly and slowly as she can manage. She kisses a line from Ava's hipbones, as far as she can with Ava's trousers on and then she gets to her feet just long enough to slip her trousers and underwear off. They get stuck for a moment; Ava's still wearing shoes and Sara can't find the laces and it takes a bit of fumbling before both of Ava's legs are free and she's naked, spread out for Sara. 

Sara leans in, kisses the inside of Ava's thigh experimentally. Her skin is even softer here than Sara remembered, delicate and private and only for Sara. She wants to mark her up here too, but she resists the urge and instead kisses a trail higher. She can smell Ava's arousal now, can see the way her outer lips are glistening and she can't wait to kiss them. Gently, she runs her index finger down the seam of Ava's lower lips, parting them just barely. Ava sighs above her, and her hips twitch. "Can I -" Sara starts to ask, but Ava cuts her off. 

"Please, yes," Ava sighs. "Yes, please." 

Sara moves forward, kneels in front of the bed. Ava's shoulders fit so nicely over hers, and this bed is the perfect height for Sara to just lean in and run her tongue across Ava, from top to bottom and then up again. Slowly, she slides her tongue in between Ava's lips, nuzzles until she makes contact with Ava's clit. 

Ava responds immediately. She's got her hands fisted in the sheets already and at the feeling of Sara's tongue against her she pulls, tugging the sheets askew just a little bit. She cries out and Sara is struck with how much she loves this, how feminine and soft Ava's voice gets when Sara's between her legs. It's a different side of her, this sweetness, and it feels so precious that Sara gets to see it. 

Sara starts to move her tongue, tracing little circles and shapes around and around until Ava's grinding down against her face and moaning. She whispers _please_ again, breathlessly, and Sara holds Ava's hips down and runs her tongues across Ava's clit and there's not a single other thing she'd rather be doing. Ava tastes so good and she sounds so good above Sara and she's missed this more than she can really explain. 

She's enjoying herself so much that she almost misses Ava's orgasm. She notices when Ava's hips go still, notices her arching up and grinding against Sara's mouth and it's not until Ava's come down, her moans sated and relaxed, that Sara breaks away from her cunt. 

She looks up, and the view is just incredible: Ava spread out in front of her, her abdomen and tits the only parts of her visible until she sits up on her elbows to look at Sara. She's red-cheeked and her hair is in messy waves around her face and Sara just can't get enough. This is the best view. 

Sara rests her chin against Ava's inner thigh, drags it across the skin there and leaves a slick line of Ava's arousal against her skin. Ava chuckles. "I forgot how good you are at that," Ava says. 

Sara grins. Her mouth is still slick and salty from Ava's cunt and she licks her lips, says, "I could always do it again, if you think you need help remembering." 

Ava's mouth sort of twists, like she's seriously considering taking Sara up on that offer. She closes her eyes and slumps back against the bed, and Sara can't see her face anymore. After a few moments, Sara runs an experimental fingertip across Ava's outer lips. She's rewarded with a sigh and a shiver, and then Ava's hand against her own. "Come up here," Ava says, laughing. 

There's a part of Sara that still wants to settle in between Ava's legs for hours, but she wants to make sure it's what Ava wants more than that. She moves up the bed, and Ava's waiting for her open-armed. Her mouth is still a little wet with Ava's slickness but Ava doesn't seem to mind as she pulls Sara in for a kiss. She kisses all of herself off of Sara's mouth, holds Sara close with slow movements and heavy limbs. 

Sara forgot about the fact that she missed this, too. 

She forgot about missing the press of her naked skin against Ava's, the soft swell of her breasts and the way they fit in perfectly against Sara's chest. She forgot about the way Ava looks, the softness of her when she's happily sated. "I just need you here for a little while," Ava whispers. "Is that okay?"

"Of course," Sara whispers against Ava's collarbone. 

There's a tenderness to this, Ava's arms welcoming and soft around her and Sara feels it in a couple of different ways. There's the emotional part of it, the way her heart feels like it's growing a size and the sense of safety when she's here in Ava's arms. But Sara also feels it between her legs, arousal sticky against her inner thighs and need suddenly flaring to life until she's almost aching with it. There's maybe something to work out there, but - not right now. Now is all about breathing through the desire throbbing between her legs, trying not to seem too eager because she doesn't want to take anything for granted with Ava, tonight. 

Ava seems to sense it. 

(Or maybe she just remembers, the rhythm of this familiar because it hasn't been that long since they dated, really.)

Ava who's still a little dreamy, that goofy-sated grin on her face, but the next time Sara moves in for a kiss Ava slides her hand in between their bodies. Her hand snakes down, past Sara's abdomen until it's just about where Sara needs it, cupping her between her legs. "What do you need?" Ava mumbles, her lips clumsy against Sara's. 

Sara feels like her body is suddenly humming with desire, every part of her just desperate to grind down against Ava's hand and _beg._ She needs Ava to touch her, she needs to feel Ava's fingers inside her and Ava's tongue against her clit and she needs to have one more chance to experience just how good Ava can be to her. 

It feels like too much, to say that out loud. She clears her throat, takes a shaky inhale to collect her thoughts but it doesn't buy her quite enough time. Before she can figure out what to say, Ava presses her hand upward. She still fits perfectly there, the heel of her hand rocking against Sara's clit while her fingertips curl against her entrance, teasing at the idea of it. Sara groans and gives in. Her hips grind against Ava's palm and it feels delicious, flutters of sensation radiating from her clit inwards, pleasure building inside her cunt. If it's possible, Sara feels like she's even wetter than before. She rocks again, feels the slide of her labia against each other, thinks about how her wetness is starting to coat Ava's fingertips and she finally knows what to say. "You. I need you." 

Ava rocks her hand against Sara once more. Sara feels sweet pressure over her clit that's beautiful, perfect before it dissipates and Ava rocks her hand backward, the tips of her fingers teasing closer to her entrance. She wants Ava to fuck her. Wants to sink down onto her hand until all she can think about is the feel of Ava filling her up, she's missed it more than she can properly express right now. Her eyes are shut and she doesn't think she has any more words to say; she thinks as hard as she can at Ava to figure her out, to fuck her just right. 

Ava rocks her hand again and whispers, "I've missed you so much." 

Sara's doing her best to formulate a reply when Ava shifts underneath her, plants her feet and rolls and when Sara opens her eyes she's on her back on the bed with Ava looking down at her. She laughs, guides Ava's hand back to its place between her thighs. "Me too," she mumbles because that's all she can manage right now. 

Ava keeps her hand there, hovering against Sara as she starts to kiss a path down the side of Sara's neck, across her chest. She lingers with each kiss until it pinches, leaving marks that are unsubtle and Sara doesn't mind one bit. She's mostly just waiting, beside herself with desire and with the way that every single one of Ava's touches hits her between her legs. 

Ava mouths at Sara's breast, takes her nipple into her mouth and swirls her tongue around and Sara feels it so strongly that her hips buck down against Ava's hand again. Sara's just so wet, she wants this so much and she can hear herself moaning for it, as Ava moves to Sara's other breast and then lower. 

Ava slides her fingertips in between Sara's lower lips. It's delicious. Sara can feel Ava's fingers slip down into the slickness of her cunt, teasing at her entrance more deliberately. Ava's touch moves higher, dragging that slickness up to Sara's clit, circling around the hood of it and then she finds it with her fingertip, presses down and it's overwhelming in the best possible way. Sara cries out and feels her inner walls flex, that wanting high inside even stronger than before. 

"You're so wet for me," Ava whispers, a note of wonder in her voice. "How did you get so wet for me?" 

Sara hopes the question is rhetorical because she's not answering, not with Ava's index finger rocking back and forth against her clit as Ava settles herself between Sara's legs in a familiar position. Sara can feel her legs shaking with desire, and then Ava's hands warm and reassuring against her thighs as she presses Sara down onto the bed and replaces that fingertip with her tongue. 

She laps at Sara's clit with slow, deliberate strokes, dragging her tongue across from bottom to top. It's designed to be teasing, not enough pressure or friction to make Sara come and she's so far gone that she can't help but whimper in frustration, her hand against the top of Ava's head. "What do you need?" Ava asks. The words are a little muffled, and Sara can feel Ava's breath against her cunt hot and teasing as she speaks. 

"You," Sara sighs. "You on me and inside me." 

"Alright," Ava whispers. 

Ava dips her head back down, and suddenly her tongue is against Sara's clit again and she's doing exactly what Sara likes, lapping against her with these fast little swirls and Sara sighs into the feel of it. It's been weeks but it feels like longer; she doesn't know how she's managed to go this long without Ava's mouth between her legs. 

It feels so good, and Sara lets herself lay back and just experience it for a while. Ava's tongue is _perfect_ and skilled and Sara can feel the beginnings of her orgasm start to build inside of her. It's almost like pressure, deep and high and she knows that she could come like this but her body is full of wanting, aching to be filled up as well. 

She doesn't know if she can say something. Doesn't know if she's too far gone to speak because she almost feels like it, her breath coming faster and her eyes shut but she wants, hopes Ava knows that she wants. 

Sara doesn't know how Ava knows the right moment, all she knows is that as soon as she thinks it Ava's fingertips are there, teasing at her entrance again and gently stretching her out. Sara's hips rock down, rubbing her clit against Ava's mouth and while she tries get purchase against her fingers, silently begging to be fucked. She's being loud, her moans breathy and high in her throat but she doesn't care. Not when Ava's doing that, not when there's a chance that she could get all of what she wants. 

Suddenly, Ava increases the pace of her tongue and slides her fingers home, down to the knuckle inside Sara and it's _unbelievable._ Sara moans out loud again, wanton and obvious and she doesn't care. All she cares about is that Ava knows how good she feels right now. 

Ava fucks into Sara slowly, her hands and tongue moving in time, and it's exactly what Sara's been missing. It's delicious, intimate and familiar and Sara's missed this like a physical ache, this way of experiencing Ava. 

It doesn't take long before that pressure in Sara's cunt builds to breaking. She feels it happen, that sensation building and blooming and suddenly her orgasm rushes over her like a wave, a beautiful release against Ava's mouth and around Ava's hand. She can hear herself cry out, feels her hips shudder and her inner walls flex over and over, the resistance of Ava's fingers precisely the right thing to draw her release out for what feels like minutes. 

When Sara finally settles, her whole body feels boneless and endorphin-giddy. Her hand is still on Ava's head and she can feel Ava's hair tangled around her fingertips. This is exactly where she wanted tonight to end. She doesn't know what she did to get this lucky. 

Ava's fingers sliding out of her provokes another few shudders, one final satisfied sigh. Sara has just enough energy to roll onto her side as Ava moves up the bed and wraps herself around Sara's back. 

Sara's not usually the type to fall asleep afterward, but she can feel herself start to relax in a way that feels like drifting towards sleep. She tries to force her eyes open, cuddles backward into Ava's front. Ava's arm slides around her waist and Sara holds it there, both arms clumsily keeping her near. "You gonna stay?" Sara whispers. 

She kicks a little, manages to get the duvet to slide down far enough that she can tuck her feet underneath it and pull it on top of them. 

Ava laughs, helps adjust the covers around them both. "As long as you'll have me," she whispers against Sara's shoulder. 

Her voice still sounds a little tentative, but so sweet and earnest that Sara feels it curl around her heart. She's so in love, Sara sees that now. They both are - have always been. "You're gonna stay a long time, then," Sara mumbles drowsily. 

"Good," Ava replies. 

The last thing Sara remembers before she falls asleep is the feeling of Ava's mouth against her shoulder, the surety of being in her arms. 

Ava's there in the morning. Sara wakes up with Ava's arm around her waist, Ava's legs tangled in between her own. 

It feels like a beginning. It feels like they're going to be alright.


End file.
